yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
