Your face is a jimmy john
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
