I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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