ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
