We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
