She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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