My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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