dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
