U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
