hotel room ftw
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
