Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
