Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
