You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
