just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
