apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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