If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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