Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You ate ashes out of my bong
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
