Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
