Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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