this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
