just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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