My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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