Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
