Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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