How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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