We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
