new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
