he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
