Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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