I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
