I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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