Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
As shirtless as possible
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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