they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
