the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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