Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize