That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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