Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
