my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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