i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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