i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize