Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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