so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
