Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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