mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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