I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
