it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
