Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
