College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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