Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
