Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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