well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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