You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
