there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize