1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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