Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
