She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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